10 Practical Tips For Raising Loyal Kids

10 PRACTICAL TIPS FOR RAISING LOYAL KIDS

It is baffling today to observe the high percentage of kids going wayward, even under the nose of their parents. We may be quick to attribute this negative trend to the influence of the high-tech environment where these kids are being brought up, with its attendant wave of moral decadence and violent crimes. However, it is worthy of note to say that the sheer irresponsibility of many parents today is the major cause of kids’ waywardness. If parents play their own game very well, it is obvious they would succeed in eliminating or, at worst minimising the tendency of their kids going out of hand. Hence, raising loyal kids is possible and achievable if parents can follow through the following practical tips:

1.     Show your kids good moral examples: It is an unarguable truth that kids learn more from what they see than what they hear. In the same vein, they learn more by practical examples set by those who supposed to be their parents and teachers, than they learn by conventional rules and regulations. The moment a parent could convince his kids that he is going in the way he is instructing them to go, through a practical, exemplary life, it becomes easy to get the kids to be loyal.

2.     Discipline them sharply, when necessary: Some jelly-fish parents spoil their kids in the name of loving and caring for them, by not making use of the ‘rod’ when necessary. Some kids are so stubborn and incorrigible that they don’t need a kid’s glove to get something good from them. Hence, the need to apply discipline, not as a habit, but as a necessity would help every parent raise a loyal kid from a near-wayward one.

3.     Correct them with a parental love: If only parents would understand the difference between cruelty and correction, it would go a long way to help them raise loyal kids. Kids are bound to make mistakes, even costly and grievous ones; and at such a time, a real parent is expected to correct; but how? Let it be registered in the tender heart of the child that it is out of interest and concern for his good that dad or mum spanks him/her. In certain cases, parents should clearly communicate it to kids on why they are punished so that the kids would see it as a correction and not as a cruel treatment from a monster parent. That helps the kids grow doing right and remaining loyal.

4.     Reward them when they do well: That is striking a right balance. Your kids should not know you only in correcting wrongs; they should as well know you in commending rights. This is one thing every parent must do to raise loyal kids- see the good side of your kids at one time or the other, and reward them in that area appropriately. This would make disciplining them when they go astray, easy for you and them. With that alone, you don’t need a special tutorial to teach them that in life, good should be praised as a virtue, while evil punished as a vice. And then watch them grow being loyal not only to you, but to the law of the land.

5.     Show interest in what interests them: You can’t win the hearts of your kids until you show interest in what interests them. The moment a child notices that you don’t listen to his stories neither pay attention to his complaints nor share in his moment of joy and ecstasy, vengeance would build up in the child’s heart, and the next would be to flout every instruction you issue to him, just to get at you. But, when you show interest in their interests, helping to point out some negative aspects of their interests that must be jettisoned, the kids would always look up to you for direction.

6.     Give them attention: Attention here is not necessarily money or any kind of material gift. It is time. Create time for your kids; they want to feel that they’ve got a dad in you. If you make yourself a hit-and-run father, they would simply see you as a figure head, who is not worth their loyal submission. At such a time, they cease to take instructions from you, with the feeling that, ‘after all, he doesn’t even know and understand what we are going through’. Another way to give attention to your kids is giving considerations to their preferences at times. Don’t always wave their preferences away as childish. You might even ask them at one time or the other to choose the next meal for the family. That makes the kids to feel on top of the world; they feel they belong to the family and would rather do everything possible to make sure the family remains strong, including being loyal to their parents.

7.     Never show favouritism: There is no doubt that parents could have special interest in a particular child among the rest of the children, either due to the personality or performance of the child. But, the injunction is, ‘never show it’! if you do, you will not only divide your family, you will as well create a big problem for the favoured child, and end up raising a disgruntled and disloyal kids that would set you on the run in the future. Let every of your kids feel equally loved and cared for as others. Don’t wait until some of your kids start accusing you that whenever this other kid offends, you never take up the ‘rod’, but when it is others who offend, you remember discipline. Whenever things get to this point in the family circle, the kids are no longer interested to please you. In fact, it would be to their delight to break family rules, and then prepare for your ‘rod’.

8.     Never lie to your kids: Not even in making appeasing promises. Do your utmost as a parent to keep to your words; and when circumstances make it impossible to fulfil your promises to them, try to explain the details to them. Never assume they are kids; they would not understand or care about your tricks. If you keep being dishonest to your kids, it won’t take time before they imbibe it as a way of life. And be sure that when they do, they would beat you in that game. And the consequence would be the raising of criminally-minded and wayward kids.

9.     Never insult your spouse before them: How many shameless parents do this often, and still wonder why their kids are wayward! Whenever couples abuse each other before their kids, the kids feel that their parents are not matured enough to control themselves; and so should have no moral right to control them. You’re bound to lose them at such. Besides, it disintegrates the children psychologically as their world seems broken down. As they lose that inner peace, which an orderly home offers, they begin to seek for false peace in dangerous lifestyles such as prostitution, drug addiction and the likes. In fact, many kids in such cases end up becoming deviants of the society.

10.                        Give them valuable information in all areas: The rule here is, ‘if the kids must learn it, let them learn it from you first’! But here is where many over-protective parents fail. They hide some valuable information from their kids thinking they are helping them to stay clear of ‘danger’. For instance, it is expected of parents, especially mothers to guide their female children on the area of sex and womanhood, the moment they near puberty, so that they would not fall into the wrong hands. Be the first to teach your kids what you are sure they would learn in the course of time; and then show them the way to walk out of any possible danger posed by such knowledge. This is what makes your kids to respect you as a real and qualified parent, who has got the right to demand their loyalty.

It doesn’t take a rocket science to raise loyal kids even in this dirty and crooked age; all it takes is a quality commitment to the above rules, and many others that could be of help.